Ambitious, beginners, dreamers and transparent. these are all for you.

Chargen19

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So let's reason a bit. This is a touchy subject and in this stressful time it's important to know that these feelings are not uncommon. A lot of people get to a point in their life where everyday seems the same and there is no difference to be had. The little dark part in your life can show it's face by making you feel like you will never amount to anything and that you lack any sense of purpose. Let me shine some light into that and uncover what you are truly feeling. While I don't know exactly what these individuals who send these PMs to me are truly going through my answer will still remain the same.

Purpose doesn't come to you. You find it. You grow it. And you might not be sure that's what it truly is until you look back and release "ya that was my purpose." It might not be a singular thing but a combination of multiple things. It's not black and white. It's more subjective and uncertain. One thing is for certain though, if you don't try anything differently you will never find purpose. At the core, the feeling of valueless is knowing that you can do better things. If you turn it on it's head the feeling of lack of purpose is just your mind telling you that there is more potential for your life and you the have determination to take that step.

Now is that step making an illicit market where all the major police agencies of the world will try to find who you are and if you get caught you are facing many years in prison? Ah no obviously. That's shortsighted thinking. It's like deciding to kill someone because you want more excitement in your life. It's crazy. If your selected purpose in life is building a market with half baked information and for front concern about getting caught, you are not cut out for it, and that's a shit purpose. One defining trait about a market admin on the verge of collapse is excessive paranoia. That paranoia stems from the fact they don't feel safe. It is like a tree from a seed. If you start with the seed already in your mind and you to water it, the roots will take form. Growing slowly and slowly until it breaks your mind apart. If you are already in an unstable place, you already have seeds in your mind. Don't water them.

Opening up a market in this darknet climate is horrible. There are tons of phishing, massive DDOS attacks, and very skilled hackers look for blood. People are hurting for money and they will do anything to put food on their table. If you have any doubts about things going wrong and you are not confident in yourself that you can handle it or fix it, you simply will not make it. The vast majority of markets don't see the light of day. The ones that do hardly survive after 3 months. In the unlikely case that they do, if they don't gain enough traction in time before the attacks get serious they will simply fall under the pressure. The attacks would be too expensive to counter. At the end of the day if the market does survive, against all odds, there is a chance for one single slip up leading back to you to end it. It's not just the police looking but information analysis looking to blackmail and dox you.

Then there is the day to day operations of running a market. I speak with market admins every day. The kind of stuff they need to put up with (or in some cases not put up with but still need to handle) is like a sewage pipe out a big city. Tons of shit by many different people. The job has massive rewards for the work and risk. But it is also extremely stressful and dependent on factors outside of the admin's control. Nothing makes a person feel so powerless when you spend half a year developing a site only to have it taken down by DDOS and not enough funds to buy servers to scale out and bring the site online. It completely crushes people. I've had to calm down so many admins to make them feel reassured that it is something they can handle. Dread being online is a testament to that. The amount of fucking assholes that DDOS us is too damn high. But we got to take it. I like challenges and fucking the DDOSERs mom. It helps to keep the mood up when the future looks bleak.

Let's talk about a bleak future. One by someone who is thinking about killing himself. Ya life isn't as cracked up to be. When you were young and sold this dream that if you do good in school, you will get a good job, find a good partner, live in a house, and have kids which brings happiness in your life. That is a fucking lie. Obviously. How many people do you see happy around you all the time? At times you can see happy people but nobody is always happy. See if life was always happy, it would be without emotion. What gives weight to the happy times is the contrast to the difficult and sometimes sad times. Life is variable. What you are felling right now is not a testament to the ongoing future. It changes. If you feel like rock bottom, where else can you go but up? If you feel like it will only get worse well then you are not at rock bottom. If you feel like there is no bottom then what the fuck is up too? It's not like you will be landing anywhere. Look at the end of the day, you have control of how your life plays out. You might not have complete control but ultimately the big decisions are a combination of smaller decisions leading up to that path. If you identity that you are unhappy in the way your life is going, there is nobody else that can change that but you.

I've found that eating right, sleeping right, and getting exercise is a pillar of lighting up the little dark part of life. What better investment into your happier life than making sure your body is able to enjoy it when it gets here. It won't happen overnight but over time. If you don't value yourself to take care of yourself that is not a reflection of your total or potential worth. How you think you are makes you how you are. If you think you are a bop ass gangsta you will start to act like it. If you feel like you are a respectable kind individual who helps others well you are going to act like it. Every day you wake up you decide who you are. If you decide that you want to be happier and more fulfilled... well guess what... that's a fucking better purpose than opening up a illicit market. Yes the path isn't clear but it does become clearer the closer you get to it. All you need to do is take a step forward.

We have many things we look at when deciding to allow a market announcement. One of the big parts is who is controlling the market. Are they of stable mind? Intelligent? Technically capable? Or are they asking stupid questions? Quick to jump onto others? Dishonest? At the end of the day the question more so is "If I was a bank and this guy was asking for a loan would I give him the loan" if the answer is no they will get denied. It's not exactly that but basically that's the gist of it. So the easy way to decide if you will get approved is simply looking at yourself against others. If you were put in the bankers position, would you allow the loan? If the focus is only on marketing, the operation will never get anywhere long term. You got to have good fundamentals and a good product to market. If it's lack luster marketing can cover up the shit but can't hide it's smell. We have quite the sensitive noses. The simple fact is if you got to ask if it's good enough, it's not good enough. Because you know that it isn't as good as you can make it. Very similar to how the purpose of life is found.

thank you for hearing this out.
 

gman12099

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very poetic and prophetic. we more than likely have a similar IQ.. haha, you most likely have evolved, as have I in the sense of being able to detect, translate and decode the encoded transitions of human energy on very raw level.. i can fee the rawness of humanity in your word..

may you be blessed my brotha and your soul and vibe and energy and all that is you and beyond be ultimately satiated with life, in life, for life, because of life, until life, is, not the life you lived .. 🌌
 
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